According to the dictionary, love is a noun, but ask anyone who has had to love someone (or something), and they will tell you that love is a verb. In this age of social media, love is often portrayed in all its glamour – including ‘picture perfect’ photos, romantic getaways, and cuddly kids. However, last year has taught me that there is so much work that it takes to get to the end result. We do not always see the work when we soley focus on the output of what we have been conditioned to view as love. Yet, the work, the hard stuff, the not so pretty stuff is love as well and from my view, it really seems to be the larger portion of it.

In 2018, love has been hard conversations on parenting styles and philosophies, continued boundaries with families and friends, and redefining who Mark and I are as husband and wife as we continue to parent. Love this year has been loving the person enough to let them sleep or loving them enough to tell them they need to wake up so that you can sleep. (*SIDENOTE: Trust me, this is love because you are saving them from an attitude if they do not get up so you can sleep ?)

Love has also meant cooking all the meals and snacks for your allergy-ridden kid so they don’t feel left out of parties; even when you are too tired to cook a meal for yourself. Love is being patient through the tantrums after a long day of work. Love is also being interested in Paw Patrol, Dora the Explorer, and Thomas the Train…no matter how many times you’ve watched them over, and over, AND OVER again!

Over the last year, I have been challenging myself to be more intentional in how I respond in the moments leading up to “love.” Is the purest form of love how you treat your partner or child during the hard things? How do you respond? What is your gut reaction? For me, as a wife and a mom, I am working DAILY to practice the art of the || PAUSE || and to ‘gut check’ myself when I feel as if my initial response is about to be snappy or irritable. I do not want to treat people outside of my home better than I do people inside of my home; although it’s extremely easy to do.

Now when people talk about the work of being married or a mother, I am finding that it’s really the day-to-day moments they’re referring to. It’s not always a big event; but rather, it’s the little events that truly get us to the memories, the trips, and cute ‘Instagramable’ photos. It’s all the things that you do that you wouldn’t have to do if they weren’t there. So my new goal for this upcoming year: I must make sure that I am loving myself so that I have the energy to do the love work for many years to come. -Through my eyes, Charlitta

As an author, I will use my stories as a tool to show people of color in everyday narratives. I am committed to using my passion for bringing people together, making reading fun for kids, and writing to make a difference in the way that black boys are perceived in our community. The Me3 Project will help all moms create a diverse and inclusive environment in their homes in order for those values to be replicated into our schools and communities.

#ME3PROJECTCHALLENGE:

1. What is your definition of love? How do you give love to the people you care about most in your life?
2. Self-love is a selfless act of taking care of ourselves so that we can take care of others. What practices do you incorporate in your daily or weekly routine that help you maintain?
3. What is the best advice someone has ever given you about love?